Bad News…

The medical license of “Dr.” James Scott Pendergraft has been reinstated, despite the fact that he has murdered many children in the third trimester of pregnancy in direct violation of Florids statutes. It seems that Saturday was his first day back at Orlando Women’s Center slaughter house…he killed about 20 people.

Change

So, I’m laying here on the cozy sofa in my family’s den, about to go to sleep (it’s way past my bedtime). My two little buddies (one three, one five) are sleeping comfortably on a pallet on the floor. We met their Mom late last summer at the abortion clinic; her little boy is now nearing one month old. We went by to see them today, as we hadn’t seen them since she came home from the hospital after delivering her sweet son and her older two came over for a sleep over. They are an active couple of young men, but I love them dearly. :) The older one is snoring ever so slightly…

In our guest room, my beloved fiance’ is sound asleep. He came over this evening for supper, and helped me watch my little friends. Mom is scurrying around in the kitchen; Dad is reading in their room. What wonderful parents I have. I love Ben with all my heart, but I know I will miss not having my parents around all the time! I must admit…I am quite thankful we will be staying around this area for a while and not heading to another state right away. I a m so content here. Wonderful parents, wonderful church, wonderful fiance’, lovely home to live in with him free of rent once we are married…

This season of my life is quickly coming to an end. Three weeks from tomorrow, I will walk down the aisle on my dad’s arm and he will give me to Ben. I will go from being just a daughter to being a wife, and Lord willing, a mother eventually. What responsibility…what joy! While I very much look forward to May 10, I must try to savor each and every moment; this path I am walking on now I will never walk on again. May 10 a 1 o’clock, my life will become permanently intertwined with the life of another in such a real way that we will become one. I, like every girl, have looked forward to that day for my entire life. The fact that it is so soon approaching is quite surreal.

May God give me the grace to honor Him during this time. May He bless as I prepare for this unique calling of being a helper to my beloved Ben. May He be glorified in the remainder of our engagement, at our wedding, and throughout our marriage.

The five year old has stopped snoring now. All the lights are off; I think everyone is sleeping now besides me, so I reckon I will join them.

Until next time…

“…and they two shall become one flesh”

A little over three years ago, Ben Murch drove his brother and sister to meet me. We exchanged hellos, but there was not even a hand shake. Three years ago, Ben Murch came to Florida with his sister and they stayed at my house. I thought he was a nice guy, but did not even begin to foresee what God would have in store. We quickly became friends, and 27 months ago, he got my daddy’s permission to court me.

Friday night (March 21), he asked me to marry him. I, of course, said yes. And, Lord willing, on May 10, 2008 and 1 o’clock in the afternoon, Ben Murch and I will be united as husband and wife.

Managing my time

One of my biggest struggles is managing my time. It is so easy for me to get caught up in something and waste most of my day, letting important tasks fall to the side. Several areas of my life have been lacking as of late. I need to clean things out of my life and use my time as wisely as possible, for the sake of bringing glory to God. After all, time is one thing that cannot be recycled. Once a moment is gone, I can never, ever have it back, and I’ll give an account for each moment.

As of late, I’ve been wasting a lot of time. Many goals I set for myself have fallen to the wayside, and I need to get back on track. My devotions haven’t been happening every day, I haven’t been memorizing Scripture, my room is a mess, I’ve been going to bed too late and sleeping in, flute and piano are largely neglected…etc.

I’ve decided that tomorrow I’m going to set aside a good chunk of time to get myself organized. Perhaps I’ll sneak away for an hour or two with my Starbucks gift card and my laptop and get some things done, free from distraction. I want to make a workable schedule for myself and put it into practice ASAP.

So, my next few posts will likely be able my attempt to get myself back on track, by God’s grace, in the area of time management.

1954-2008

I found out this evening that my aunt’s ex-husband died of a massive heart attack yesterday afternoon. Even though they were divorced, he kept in touch with my mom. He left behind three children: one adult son, one teenage son, and a young daughter. They are all taking it very hard, as you can imagine. Please remember them in your prayers during this season.

Valentine’s Day with my Beloved

This was our third Valentine’s Day as a couple, but the first one we’ve actually been together for! For various reasons I didn’t think we were going to do anything, but Ben surprised me Thursday morning (of last week), and invited me to have a picnic with him to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Of course, I accepted his invitation. I began busying myself with getting ready, packing lunch (with some special things like sparkling grape juice and chocolate covered strawberries), and then he arrived. I answered the door, and he presented me with a beautiful bouquet of all different types of pink flowers. It’s lovely; they’re still alive a well! Shortly after he arrived at the house we headed out.

We spent the day at Bok Sanctuary. I read that it was the most romantic place to have a picnic in Central Florida, so that’s where we went. It is an absolutely beautiful place, with over 50 acres of beautifully planned gardens and trails. When we arrived, we enjoyed our picnic in a lovely wooded picnic area.

We spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around the breathtaking gardens, and then had dinner with my parents. It was a lovely day. I am so thankful for Ben. What a blessing it is for my heart to be held by a man who loves the Lord!

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Today marks half a century since the birth of my father. I remember when I was a little girl, talking to Dad and saying, eyes wide,  “Dad! When you turn 50, I’ll be 18!” At the time, it seemed so far into the future. It’s hard to believe it’s already here.

I have so many wonderful memories of my dad. There was the time he tried to teach me how to ride a bike in our back yard in Ohio (some of you may have seen the home video *grin*). There was my first time playing golf with him (after three holes, I sprawled out on the fairway). I remember the times he tucked me into bed at night (often staying up past when he wanted to go to bed because I was still putting my PJs on and brushing my teeth). We’ve even had inside jokes, things that only he and I laugh about when they’re brought up. I remember many of the times he stayed up later than usual to help me with my math homework. He’d explain things to me over and over again until I’d finally get it. He always had time for me.

The most amazing thing I remember about my dad, though, is how much he has changed. I remember when he was an unbeliever and then when he started going to church; I was 3 or 4. I remember when he and mom were baptized. I remember when God finally broke him and he started to really follow after Christ. I remember when he tried to read the Bible with me when I was still unconverted; I often fell asleep. I remember when he would practice his Evangelism Explosion outline on me, and when he’d come home each Thursday night with stories of the many he’d had the opportunity to share the gospel with, hopeful that maybe they had been saved.

I remember one night, after God had really started drawing me, Dad told me how he’d been praying for so long that my relationship with the Lord would become a priority in my life. He was sitting out in the driveway at our old house. It was night time and he was working on the car; I came out just to talk. It was just a few weeks after that when the Lord really arrested me for Himself, and I too, began to follow Him.

I know I often take for granted the privilege of having a father who loves the Lord and desires to please Him in everything he does. Many friends who don’t have that same privilege often remind me of this.  He consistently supports me in my service of the Lord. We haven’t always agreed on what’s best for my future, but the Lord has changed his heart in that regard. And, even when we didn’t agree, he encouraged me to do what I thought would please my Lord the most. He trusted that I was in good hands. :) He is a constant source of encouragement, and ever helpful in gaining a better understanding of the things of God. I could not ask for me.

With that said, I love you, Dad. Thanks for being so faithful to God, and faithfully leading our family for his glory. Happy birthday.

Why I and All of Mankind Deserve Eternal Torment

I received a comment from a reader on my Thanksgiving post, in which I stated that “I deserve nothing but eternal torment in the lake of fire.” She wrote,

Why do you deserve eternal torment? Have you committed horrible sins though you are so young? Why do you think that you are such a dreadful sinner?

I want to begin this post with a description of men from the book of Romans, chapter 3, verses 10-20.

Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, wrote,

There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understandeth, There is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; There is none that doeth good, no, not one. Their throat is an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips: Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness: Their feet are swift to shed blood: Destruction and misery are in their ways: And they way of peace have they not known; There is no fear of God before their eyes. Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God.

This is not an attractive picture of mankind. However, it is true. Even David wrote in the 51st Psalm that we are conceived in iniquity. That is, we are evil from the womb. In Genesis, the Lord says that the thoughts of men’s hearts are only evil continually, and from their youth (right before he killed all but 8 people in the flood).

In Isaiah 59:2, we are told that our “iniquities have separated [us] from [our] God.” Sin is the transgression of the law. All people, throughout the entirety of their lives, break God’s laws intentionally, repeatedly, and without remorse. We lie and we steal. We are sexually immoral (if not physically, then in our hearts). We use the holy name of Almighty God as a curse word and drag it through the mud. We use His name in a way we don’t even use the name of our worst enemies! We dishonor our parents. We murder people in our hearts with our unrighteous anger.

Because of our sin, God is angry with us. The Bible even says, “God is angry with the wicked every day.” (Ps. 7:11) In Romans 1:18 we are told that “the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men.” Contrary to what is popularly taught in modern churches, God “hatest all workers of iniquity.”

Anyone who commits even one sin is guilty before God. “For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all. For he that said, Do no commit adultery, said also, Do not kill. Now, if thou commit no adultery, yet if thou kill, thou art become a transgressor of the law.” (James 2:1)

Because God is holy, and we are transgressors of His Holy law, we are deserving of His wrath. Yet, in His mercy, God provided a way for sinners such as me to be saved from His just wrath. Jesus shed His blood to pay the penalty for the sins of those who would be saved. In order to be forgiven, a person must repent and believe the gospel.

Conviction, Pursuit of Holiness

This past Friday evening through Saturday was the first annual Cornerstone Women’s Conference. We had the privilege of having Susan Heck as our conference speaker. She is one of my favorite authors, even though I’m only part of the way through her only currently published work, a study of James called “With the Master in the School of Tested Faith.” Her clear exposition of God’s Word for women is very refreshing in this day and age when I can barely trust a woman author (or a man!) to write something so true to the word of God.

After spending some hours listening to her teach God’s word, and having time to talk to her in between sessions, I feel so completely blessed that God allowed us to find her. Her teaching was refreshingly biblical and convicting; so much so, that I’ve decided my life needs some changes.

The first area needing tremendous work is time management. I waste far too much time, and we are to redeem the time, for the days are evil! I just finished a draft of my new schedule, which includes no scheduled computer time. I don’t plan to drop off of the blogging world, however, I plan to just be around when I have spare moments. I’ll jot down post ideas and whatnot and write them as time allows. I’ll try this for a while and see how it works.

Another goal I have is to work on developing Titus 2 characteristics in my life. I am not married and I don’t have children, so there are some limitations. However, I want to work on that, and eventually begin to disciple girls who are younger than I am, and perhaps women who are younger in the Lord (though, I think it’s most appropriate if they are relatively close to my age). I need to focus more of my energies on really serving the Body of Christ, specifically in and through the local church God has placed me in at this point of my life.

One other area I plan to focus more intently on is memorizing God’s Word. Susan Heck was a great encouragement in this area, especially. She has memorized over 22 books of the New Testament, and spoke on this topic during one of the sessions. She made it clear, through God’s word, that hiding scripture in our hearts is very, very important.

It is my prayer that God would give me grace to serve Him and honor Him as He so deserves!

Our “Beagle Boy”

The Christmas shortly after I turned 5 (Christmas of 1996), my parents got two puppies. I had never had a pet before, and was shocked to open a box on Christmas morning containing two dog bowls, two leashes, two collars, and a video. They put the video in the VCR and it was of them picking out our two new dogs, both young puppies-about 8 weeks old. After going through various sets of names, we settled on Simon and Schuster. Schuster died in 2006. Last Friday, we had to take Simon in to be put to sleep. It was sad for us all. Below the picture is a “tribute” of sorts, written by my Dad.

Simon’s big brown eyes seemed almost human at times in their variety of expressions. Through his eyes he smiled, pleaded, showed shame, loved and asked to be loved — and of late, cried. But there was more to his manner that made us feel as if we were having a conversation with him. He would walk over, sit on his haunches, lift one paw and motion that he really needed to be petted. His gratefulness and pleasure at having his ears scratched came from deep within in the form of guttural moanings that encouraged more. Satisfied on one end, he’d turn to have his back scratched.
As the son of at least one beagle, his ears, of course, were large and equally expressive. When he focused all his senses on some matter — often the prospect of food — he’d pull them up and forward. Sometimes, though, if he cocked his head back quickly and at a certain angle, his ears would flop open and remain extended, so large he reminded me of the Flying Nun.
Still, the feature that most defined his personality was his nose. No dog ever followed his nose more than Simon. He lived to eat, to find something more that could be eaten. He carefully monitored every movement his masters made through their kitchen. Trained to stay out while I was in it, he waited for the floor to clear then moved in to carefully smell for whatever tiny crumb might be eaten. He swept up many times a day. Sometimes he ate things he shouldn’t — the other dogs’ food, for example and on a rare occasion, our own if it were left in his reach. Once, a freshly baked loaf of bread mysteriously disappeared. There was not a trace of it left over. Simon was, to put it crudely, a pig. But sometimes he was a cow, eating copious quantities of grass to try to help move something through his system that he shouldn’t have eaten. This sometimes transpired on our walks around the block — walking our cow, I’d say. If he wasn’t eating the grass, he seemed intent to trying to smell every passing blade for clues about his neighbors-in-kind. Sometimes he’d plant his nose so firmly, we had to pull hard to get him to move along. Still, we loved him.
He woke us Thursday morning crying and virtually unable to move. We helped him up and as he moved, he seemed to have lost use of his left hind leg. The right had been weakened by arthritis, but now he was putting all his weight on his right and dragging his left. The diagnosis: a large, inoperable tumor that also apparently began robbing him of the ability to perform basic bodily functions. Simon’s good life ended yesterday morning at 9. I scratched his ears throughout the procedure and clutched him tightly in my arms for a good long while before, during and after. Simon the Diamond was 13, and we’ll surely miss him, mostly especially how happy he was when we came home, an event that always –and oddly — called for a quick trip to his water bowl. I guess he was toasting our arrival.